I am alive. But am I just existing? I get the feeling, often, that I’m simply drifting. When this feeling takes hold, I struggle to fight it and it becomes the norm. It begins to consume me. I start to lose happiness and joy for things. Unfulfilled potential. Unhappiness. A constant nagging frustration. Irritability. A background fear and dread of slipping. Slipping into another breakdown or another outburst. Of having to pick up the pieces of my life. Yet again. My mind auto

I had to be more open-minded. I had to go out of my comfort zone. I was struck by a quote saying, “Easy Choices, Hard Life. Hard Choices. Easy Life.” Straight away I got on Meet Up and found a Confidence and Self Esteem group. I did something before I could change my mind. I thought about my assets more. From the get go, my teaching was better. I wasn’t drinking. More healthy eating. More exercise. I was sticking to routines. I was on my way back up. I had started to make cha

My closest childhood friend had married a year before, a fantastic time where I loved being the best man. Another close friend had recently become engaged, to someone I had introduced him to and my closest friend in London who had helped me in recent times was also engaged. This made me reflect on myself. A strong feeling of peer pressure overcame me and I started to beat myself up out of comparison. Eventually I thought about what I lacked in comparison and decided it was st

I have always felt that life is about spinning plates. A Saturday afternoon in London in October 2015 was when all my plates fell down. I had a breakdown. Just typing that brings back the painful memory of that day, but by writing this I have accepted what happened and feel that I am on a journey to learn to accept myself. What I actually remember from that day was getting up as normal but soon after not feeling myself. I didn’t even know who I was any longer. I was all over

I have always felt that life is about spinning plates. A Saturday afternoon in London in October 2015 was when all my plates fell down. I had a breakdown. Just typing that brings back the painful memory of that day, but by writing this I have accepted what happened and feel that I am on a journey to learn to accept myself. What I actually remember from that day was getting up as normal but soon after not feeling myself. I didn’t even know who I was any longer. I was all over